My fiancee is amazing. Seriously, Tommie is more talented than almost anyone I know. He plays guitar, designs, sings, leads worship. He's exceedingly handsome...I love that man.
Tommie also has the chance to travel often and to lead worship around the nation. Last summer he was in California for two months at the JH Ranch. He's consistently gone for periods of times...in Alabama, in Tampa...etc. I love that. I love that he has that opportunity and I love that people love him and his work. I'm beyond proud. I mean, look at him!!!!
I have to admit though...While Tommie is gone, I miss him like crazy!!!! I know that's no surprise. It's even nice to think that I care for him enough to wish I were with him most of the time.
A slight problem arises however when I start thinking that at least once I'd like for him to know how it feels to be left behind while I go off to find adventure for a period of time...I want to be missed. I want him to wonder at my experiences while he works on his daily life day after day...Doesn't that sound horrible?!?! I know it's selfish, and I know it's self-serving (kind of the same things I guess).
I likely won't have the chance to be gone for any stint of adventure before Tommie and I get married. He'll be in Birmingham for three months this summer, and I'll be here in Gainesville. He'll be on another adventure, but it will be the beginning of the one we'll have together as soon as I move up there in August. Despite my selfish feelings, I don't think it would be right to want to have that type of solo adventure after we're married. How are a married couple supposed to exist apart from each other for so long? I don't think we're supposed to do that.
Tommie and I will talk about it, and he and I will work it out. And the Holy Spirit is continuously working on me. As the Spirit purifies me, I will be able to live less selfishly. I'm embarrassed of my feelings, but I know that in reality, who I am is found in Christ, not in the sin that entangles me at every turn.
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