Losing It...

Have you ever lost something so great, it sits in the middle of your chest for longer than you could have ever imagined...sometimes making you catch your breath because it's just too heavy, and sometimes.... just seeming invisible? Have you ever lost someone and it made you feel the same way?

Have you ever woken up and realized a dream you had was dead now, lost and gone because the time for that opportunity had passed you by? Did you cry for it? Did you remember it later, much later, and still miss it?

Have you ever grieved for a loss you know is coming? You know you shouldn't think about it, but you know you will be bereaved soon enough and it just all seems too much.

Loss, and Grief...something I've thought about lately because of circumstances in my own life, yes, but also in the lives of those I know.

How heavy the burden of grief, how unexpected the torment it can make you experience even in times of great happiness and growth. Sometimes, without warning, you realize your loss and it stretches out your insides so tightly that you're sure if you open your mouth, nothing but a small cry could escape...you wouldn't even have tears, just a small, small cry.

Grief is relative I'm learning. We may think what we're grieving for is too small to matter. But you know, if it's something we're grieving for, that just can't be true-it must matter. It may be hard for others to understand, but after reading a certain book, I think I have a healthier perspective on the issue.

All that to say, I've had a hard time with this move to Virginia. My grief over the loss of the life (as a whole) that I had in Colorado is real and sometimes sneaks up on me.

I'm learning to move on though. I'm also learning that moving on doesn't mean I won't sometimes need to cry or remember what I've lost....and remember the blessings I have now. Virginia is becoming my home.

As I'm set to return to Colorado next week for the first time since our move, I'm ready to remember that Virginia is where God called us. It's where our new memories will happen and it's where adventure will call my name for now. So for now, that's home and I'm ready to love it.

I know you have something you've lost. Know that grief is good and the future is bright.